"Carnival Row": Orlando Bloom and Cara Delevingne's fairy tale is fractured by competing narratives

Various cultures around the world have their own versions of fairies, but a constant is their tendency to be capricious. Either they bestow blessings or curse a person with ill fortune. They trip people, swindle them and steal their babies. Humans have pinned a load of sins on the fae, these creatures that nobody can see but everybody swears are to blame for … something.
“Carnival Row” comes into the world destined to have certain expectations attached to it and will likely fail most of them. By its very nature of being a fantasy series tethered to a familiar-seeming reality, people will likely dismiss it as Amazon’s attempt to capture the “Game of Thrones” audience — which doesn’t seem to be its aim.  (Would a steampunk cosplayer enter a contest for knights at a renaissance faire? I mean, probably. But she wouldn't expect to win.)
It is, however, selling a number of plot accelerants within eight episodes. It’s a fable about refugees and immigrant discrimination written to reflect the crises and cruelties of our times. It’s a tale of clashing cultures and warring belief systems. But it’s also a Victorian-style murder mystery in which a Jack the Ripper-style killer is hunting unsuspecting fae.
Or wait, is there also a political intrigue plot surrounding an elected official? Why, yes. On top of that, there’s a subplot to be examined about how a nation recovers from a war it has lost, and how well or poorly it tends to tyrannized people left behind to die or escape in however limited ways that they can.

Mainly, though, it’s a love story wrapped around an identity quest. A very pretty one, starring Orlando “Legolas” Bloom, and a supermodel with wings, Cara Delevingne, two very pretty people. For some viewers the promise of seeing fairy-on-man sex scenes may be a sufficient lure—and sure enough, the eponymous street’s crown jewel is a brothel full of winged ladies.
That is not what the show is about, though. I mean, yes, it has that; but on the whole, the intent of “Carnival Row” is to sink us into a world that looks like Victorian London but isn’t.
The title refers to a seedy street in a place called The Burgue, where fairies, fauns and other mythical creatures eke out an existence in any way they can alongside humans, who have nothing but contempt for them.
The beings we know as mythical folk are refugees from their native Tirnanoc, a land conquered by an alliance of nation states called The Pact. The Burgue initially sides with Tirnanoc but pulls its forces out when the war is going sour, resulting in a surge of migrants desperate to escape genocide. In exchange for their lives, the fae are expected to refrain from flying or aspiring to be on equal social footing with humans.

And naturally, the government is well-invested in keeping its foot on the neck of the faerie folk. “They bring vices, wantonness, the scourge of elixir addiction, the worship of wanton gods,” booms one of the speakers at the Burguish parliament, earning him thunderous applause.
Even so, Bloom’s Rycroft Philostrate meets and falls in love Delevingne’s Vignette Stonemoss during the war, when he is a Burguish solider and she a freedom fighter. Years later, he’s a detective in the Burgue when she turns up as a refugee and is angered to discover the man she believed to be dead is very much alive, and working for the same cops that blackmail and threaten her kind.
But they’re not as much of danger as a murderer stalking the people of Carnival Row, for reasons that are not initially clear.
“Carnival Row” is a visual splendor, make no mistake about that. Even when the setting is at its dingiest, its directors Thor Freudenthal and Jon Amiel draw the eye to the beauty in the muck, making the loveliest scenes glow all the richer. Of course the real test is how well the CGI sells the fairy flights and mid-air skirmishes, and it passes on both counts. The fae wings, when unfurled, are enviable.

The challenge “Carnival Row” faces to find purchase with viewers is somewhat akin to the one I suspect waits in store for Netflix’s “The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance,” which also comes out on Friday. Each, in its own very specific way, gauges the audience’s presumed affection for the fantasy genre as fiercely as it presses our appetite to absorb politics in fantastical escapism.
Fantasy and fairy tales were never entirely intended to remove us from the world’s ills, and indeed, the most resilient myths speak directly to the multitude of forms human malice takes.
But where “Age of Resistance” may benefit from the halo effect of Jim Henson’s legacy and that of the film that inspires it, Amazon’s drama pushes into somewhat underexplored genre territory. Dragons, elves (even the adjacent variety called Gelfling) and knights are a simple sell. Fairies and fauns are still somewhat specific in their appeal, levitating orgasms notwithstanding. (Oh, see, now you want to watch, hmm?)
Another major difference between these two very disparate genre titles is in clarity of mission.
Travis Beacham, who conceptualized the story that became “Pacific Rim” and began constructing the world of “Carnival Row” nearly two decades ago, originally intended the piece to be a parable about racism. The world being what it is and doing what it does over the intervening 17 years, he and co-creator René Echevarria, along with fellow executive producer and showrunner Mark Guggenheim, expanded the tale to speak to current events and encompass classic hooks of popular entertainment. Hence the stew of plotting.

The divided world of the Burgue is harrowing enough to navigate with a killer on the prowl. Then add in the drama’s array of subplots only loosely connecting most parties during the first four episodes of season one, and at times, keeping all the stories in order feels akin to sorting through entrails — though much lovelier, of course, and peddled by extraordinary actors.
On the political side of the story quilt, Jared Harris and Indira Varma pair nicely as the paranoid Chancellor of the Burgue Absalom Breakspear and his manipulative wife Piety. David Gyasi turns in a wonderful performance as a faun named Agreus, who defies social order and purchases a nice house in a nice community and as one might imagine, the neighbors are not thrilled.
And though the chemistry between Rycroft and Vignette is fine (although their starcrossed romance ignites almost out of nowhere) the scenes Delevingne shares with Karla Crome, playing Vignette’s best friend Tourmaline, are about as enticing. If her love affair with Rycroft doesn’t work out, their partnership as friends may be worth watching.Anyone who knows fairy tales will be prepared to absorb the politics and societal commentary driving these eight episodes; that’s not the issue. What keeps the drama from flying completely true, in spite of all its beauty, is that it falls short of its obligation to utterly enthrall the audience with its stories as well as its glamour. Fortunately Amazon picked up a second season of “Carnival Row” already, granting its creators a pass to comb out the tangles, or maybe even create more fascinating ones.

Netflix's best new releases in October, from the "Breaking Bad" movie to "Big Mouth"

It’s officially fall, which means it’s now the season to eschew the — in most cases across the US — unseasonable sunshine and get reacquainted with your couch before winter. While there, enjoy these new and returning Netflix shows and movies that will premiere in October, including the much-anticipated “Breaking Bad” movie, a sumo wrestling mini-doc, Paul Rudds (yes, plural), and the return of celebrity chef David Chang.
If you’ve never seen “Big Mouth” before, the Netflix synopsis of the upcoming season is a whole lot. Show creators plan to tackle “cellphone addiction, female anger, the vast spectrum of sexuality, Adderall abuse, dick pics, toxic masculinity, and of course, ‘how to have an  orgasm.’”
This obviously isn’t after-school special material, but the raunchy Netflix animated original — created by Nick Kroll, Andrew Goldberg, Mark Levin and Jennifer Flackett — has excelled in past seasons at depicting the hellscape that is puberty with an unusual level of smarts, sensitivity, and insightful humor.
When we last left the characters in the holiday musical episode “My Furry Valentine,” things were pretty bleak for fan-favorite Andrew Glouberman. He’s allergic to his new red Kangol hat; his scalp has broken out into a “profoundly violent rash.” His relationship with Missy (Jenny Slate) has taken a downturn — enough so that one of his Valentine’s ideas for her is balloon that reads “For Christ’s sake, please.” He makes a fool out of himself at a party and in the final moments of the episode, we leave Andrew in the street, angry and humiliated.
I’m hopeful Season 3 may bring a certain level of redemption for Andrew — potentially with the help of the cast of “Queer Eye,” who are featured in this season?
"El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie," Oct. 11

“Breaking Bad” dramatically concluded in September 2013, and since then, fans have speculated that a movie was in the works. There have been rumors, there’s been disappointment, there have been teasing Instagram photos from Aaron Paul and Bryan Cranston. But the project was unconfirmed until August 2019, when Netflix finally released a trailer.
“El Camino” picks up where “Breaking Bad” left off.  Jesse Pinkman has escaped his captors and is on the run from law enforcement. According to creator Vince Gilligan, more than 10 characters from the original “Breaking Bad” will appear in the film.
Netflix is getting into the musical competition game with “Rhythm + Flow,” an unscripted series that follows Cardi B, Chance the Rapper, and Tip “T.I.” Harris as they search for the country’s next great hip-hop talent. In a departure from the streamer's usual binge drop, the show will premiere on Oct. 9, followed by different episode bundles dropping each Wednesday throughout the month. Week 1 features the auditions; Week 2 covers cyphers, rap battles, and music videos; and Week 3 concentrates on samples, collaborations, and the big finale, when a new hip-hop star will be crowned.
To prep for the premiere, I’d recommend catching a few episodes of Netflix’s “Hip-Hop Evolution,” which traces the genre's roots and development.
"Living With Yourself," Oct. 18
Can there ever be too many Paul Rudds? That existential question will be explored in the bizarre new dark comedy on Netflix, “Living with Yourself.” In it, Paul Rudd plays a sad dude who wishes he could be a better person. Through a series of events, he ends up in a science fiction-esque spa, wherein he creates a clone of sorts, who exhibits different sides of his personality. Over the eight-episode series, shenanigans ensue.
"Schitt’s Creek" Season 5, Oct. 10

Season 4 of “Schitt’s Creek” brought all the feels — and many, many worthwhile GIFs. There was the episode “Open Mic,” which brought us Noah Reid’s tear-jerking cover of “Simply the Best.” Alexis and Ted finally make things right. Moira made sure Johnny Rose had a merry Christmas.
Season 5, which was nominated for four Primetime Emmys (including Best Comedy Series), will pick back up with Canada’s favorite family — played by Dan Levy, Eugene Levy, Catherine O’Hara and Annie Murphy — on Oct. 10.
"Jenny Slate: Stage Fright," Oct. 22
In a 2017 interview with Sam Jones, Jenny Slate spoke candidly about the after-effects of getting fired from "Saturday Night Live" in 2009. “I was so humiliated in every way,” she said. “And I thought that everybody cared. I couldn’t get over it. I was too sensitive and when I got up on stage I just felt like everybody hates me.” It led to a pretty severe bout of stage fright, which makes the title of her stand-up special a nice, little subversive move.
Netflix brings the actor's first stand-up special, which has been classified as “dark comedy.” It’s a hybrid stand-up set, bolstered by a documentary-style look at her family and upbringing.
This Selena Gomez-produced docuseries follows eight families who face deportation in the United States. It’s an effort to put faces to the ongoing immigration debate in the country, which shows no signs of slowing as the 2020 election nears.
In an interview with “The Hollywood Reporter” Gomez said she chose to produce the series because, over the past few years, the word “immigrant” has become a negative word.

“My hope is that the series can shed light on what it's like to live in this country as an undocumented immigrant firsthand, from the courageous people who have chosen to share their stories,” she said.
This has been a good year for unique Latinx-led television, with shows like “Los Espookys,” “Alternatino with Arturo Castro,” and “My Favorite Shapes.” “Seis Manos” looks like it will continue the trend. Written by Álvaro Rodríguez and Daniel Dominguez, it’s an anime set in the fictional Mexican town of San Simon in the 1970s. The series centers on three orphans who are being trained in martial arts, but after their mentor is killed, they seek out help from an American and a Mexican policía to avenge him.
The series will feature the voices of Mike Colter as DEA agent Brister, Angelica Vale as local cop Garcia, Vic Chao as mysterious ancient warrior Chiu, and Danny Trejo as violent drug lord El Balde.
"Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner," Oct. 23
Momofuku empire founder-turned Netflix food darling David Chang is back to the streaming platform with a new series in which he and a celebrity guest will explore meals in different cities.
“There’s something about traveling with someone that opens you up,” Chang said in an announcement about the show. “Being away from all the craziness of daily life, you spend long days together in an unfamiliar place with nothing to do but wander the street, share meals, and talk.”
He continued: “That’s what BLD is all about—learning more about ourselves, our friends, and the people we encounter out in the world. Plus, of course, the ridiculously delicious meals we share.”
"The Kominsky Method" Season 2, Oct. 25
The first season of “The Kominsky Method,” which stars Michael Douglas and Alan Arkin, is surprisingly funny and an easy-to-watch binge for a show that deals pretty heavily with characters coming to grips with their own mortality. As Salon TV Critic Melanie McFarland wrote, “Most of the comedy in 'The Kominsky Method' is mined from watching these two come to terms with their aging and all the bodily slips and slides that come with it. But it’s also a series about grief, about being alone and moving on, and how difficult that can be from a male perspective.”
In this season, Norman (Arkin) reconnects with an old flame (Jane Seymour) after 50 years, while Sandy has to come to grips with the fact that his daughter is dating a man (Paul Reiser) old enough to be — well, her father.

"Little Miss Sumo," Oct. 28
Like the title suggests, “Little Miss Sumo” is a documentary short that packs a lot of power. Over the course of 18 minutes, a crew follows 20-year-old female sumo wrestling prodigy Hiyori Kon. Despite her talent, as a woman, she is banned from much professional competition. The film tracks Hiyori’s life inside and outside the ring — a sacred space that is traditionally reserved only for men.
And here is a full schedule of everything else coming to the platform this month.

The Elusive Female Orgasm: Part 2: Five More Orgasm-abiliy Tips

Here are another five suggestions you can use right now to have an orgasm. Or two. Or ten! Or more!
In Part One of The Elusive Female Orgasm, I described some basic solo skills that can get you started on the path to orgasmic pleasure. The same skills that can get you to one ecstatic peak can also dramatically expand your orgasmic capacity.
To learn or expand your orgasm-ability, you may want to start with your own self-pleasure. Your solo-sex is your foundational learning laboratory. After you figure out what works for you, you can share your discoveries with your intimate partners. But, like learning to play the piano, it’s best to start solo and then move to duets.
1.Say Yes to Yourself
Give yourself permission to feel more, do more, explore and go further, deeper and wilder than you ever have. Free your mind and the rest will come along.


When playing with your new skills, resistance, fear, anxiety and propriety will likely arise. Fend them off by repeatedly giving yourself permission to feel all of the pleasure you’re capable of and to be a wildly free sexual being.
Give yourself permission, over and over, to release, to let go of inhibitions and to push yourself into new territory. Say, “Yes” to pleasure, “Yes” to getting wilder, “YES” to going further than you thought you could. When you start to orgasm, don’t let limiting beliefs stop you. Say, “Yes” to allowing yourself to keep going, and you will.
2.Touch Yourself All Over
Treat yourself to the luxury of your own sweet touch. Connect to your entire body in a variety of delightful ways. Take your time exploring the feel of your skin and the sensations of pleasure. Add some wonderfully smelling massage oil and rub, caress and slide over your silky sensual surface. Be your own great lover and treat yourself to touch in the exquisite way you so richly deserve.
When you do arrive at your very own delicious genitals, explore all of the wonderful territory, tracing each contour, investigating every little nook, caressing each delicate cranny. There’s no right way to play with yourself, so just take your time and feel how it feels. When you find a stroke you like, repeat it. When you discover a move that moves you, do more of it!

3.Shake Your Booty
Rocking your hips is the basic mammal mating motion, so utilize that ancient pathway and pump your pelvis. Imagine your spine is a snake and undulate away. Even a small pelvic tilting motion will activate a basic sex reflex, so rock and roll your booty to enhance your turn-on and increase your climax. Pump it up, baby! Let your thrusting animal out and you’ll propel your orgasm sky-high.
Next: Keep reading...


Here are another five suggestions you can use right now to have an orgasm. Or two. Or ten! Or more!
4.Relax
Sexual arousal is a dance between both excitement and relaxation, although our cultural model often focuses only on the revving it up part. Start to play with slowing it down as well. Dance with varying rhythms, from exquisitely slow through racing-car fast, and every speed in between. Sometimes you can even take time for stillness – in fact, that’s often where the pleasure and sensation can expand! Alternate speeding the rhythym up and slowing it down. Play with firing the energy up and cooling it down. Let go of the goal and focus on the experience. Enjoy the journey.
5.Practice and Experiment
The more you practice, the better you’ll get at anything. Practice allows your skills to become habitual. Sex is no exception. As you practice more, you’ll become increasingly proficient with your orgasmic abilities. So practice, lots and lots! It may not get you to Carnegie Hall, but it will get you where you want to go. And remember, your basic practice is with yourself. Partners are optional!


If you want to keep expanding your pleasure capacity, you need to keep trying novel things, running original experiments and exploring new pleasure pathways. Remember, there is no one right way to have sex or become mega-orgasmic. There are myriad paths to expanded sexuality. Don’t get stuck thinking about whether you’re doing it right or wrong. Just try different things; positions, fantasies, skills, toys and keep experimenting and exploring. Keep asking yourself, “What happens when I try it this way?” and run the experiment. Notice what works and what doesn’t. If something works, then add that to your practice.
Remember, even master musicians never stop trying new things and seeing where they can take their talents. An erotic virtuoso is always stretching toward new horizons, exploring new inner tools, and playing with the question of how far can I go. And the great thing about sex? You are your own instrument—and everyone has the capacity to access ecstasy.

British Start 'Orgasm A Day' Campaign

The U.K.'s National Health Service urges students to have an orgasm twice a week.
We're huge proponents of pleasuring ourselves on a regular basis. When we don't our body just feels...what's the word... unhealthy.
Well, today we read that the U.K.'s National Health Service thinks we're on to something. In fact, the NHS is going so far as handing out pamphlets to school children touting 'An Orgasm A Day Keeps The Doctor Away.' The pamphlet asks the question: why promote healthy eating and exercise and not the maintenance and upkeep of one's sexual organs? Masturbation May Cut Cancer Risk
It's an excellent question, really. Why not strive for five servings of fruits/vegetables, some cardio and an earth-shattering orgasm to end it off? The NHS formally suggests an orgasm twice a week, which really isn't too unrealistic. While this could absolutely be a pro-masturbation campaign, the NHS then adds that sex is great cardiovascular exercise.


We're not sure what tricks high school-aged boys have up their sleeves today, but we'd hardly file our adolescent sexual fumblings into the same category as 25 minutes on the treadmill. But then again, far be it for us to say. Orgasm For An Hour (Yes, We're Serious)
Regardless, it will come as no shock to you that parents and school administrators are red-faced and disgusted by this campaign. Great Britain has the highest rate of teenage pregnancies in all of Western Europe and they think this practically begs kids to have unbridled, casual sex. Some are going so far as saying this is another form of "child abuse."

Now, to be fair, we're not entirely sure how much higher our sexual partner count would be had we strived for extra cardio in the form of intercourse at fifteen. However, we're pretty sure we'd still know we ought to use a condom. And we're pretty sure all those health videos about fresh-faced youngsters testing positive for H.I.V. would still haunt us (as they do today). We're guessing Great Britain has done their fair share of abstinence and safe sex education, and we're just guessing it hasn't worked.

Why Do We Love Getting It On During Natural Disasters?

Trojan Condoms survey reveals that people love having sex during inclement weather conditions.
I can tell you exactly where I was when Hurricane Irene hit New York City last August: I was in Brooklyn having sex. The storm had yet to do any of the severe damage that it eventually caused, but that morning, as the wind and rain started to pick up, I was mid-coitus. And according to statistics, I was not alone.

A survey of 1,000 sexually active people conducted by Trojan Condoms found that the majority of Americans like to get it on during natural disasters. Of those polled, 70 percent reported having sex during tornadoes or thunderstorms, and 27 percent said they had done it during hurricanes.
The study also found a correlation between temperature and sex. It seems that the hotter it is outside, the more likely people are to have sex inside (and maybe outside, too). On average, people in frigid Minneapolis only do the deed 64 times a year, while hot-to-trot Miami sees almost twice as much action as that, at 102 times. Who keeps track of this stuff? I guess people in Miami do. You've seen The Situation's score board on Jersey Shore, the Miami season, right? /node/93115


Although scientists aren't quite sure why we like to get it on in stormy weather so much, one can assume that it's a combination of the romance it brings — "the electricity just went out and there's no TV, let's light some candles and get all cozy" — or perhaps a fear that the apocalypse is nigh and you better squeeze in a couple more orgasms. Either way, it's a primal feeling that's all too easy to understand. Now, let's hope no hurricanes hit New York this August.
Do you find yourself having more sex when the weather outside is frightful?

Sex & Football: Should Athletes Abstain Before The Game?

Italian soccer club forbids sex or masturbation before the big game.
Many professional fighters (and less testosterone-y athletes) lay off sex while training to stay mean, clean and full of protein. And now, per MSN, the Italian soccer squad Napoli has told players to refrain from orgasming (through Onanism or coitus) within two days of the match. Team doctor Professor Alfonso De Nicola explains, "Avoiding sexual activity for two days before a game is fundamental to prevent muscular strains, contractions or inflammations." Personally, I thought a little inflammation (here and there) was a good thing. But the staff for Napoli mentions that this abstinence (coupled with other training techniques) has helped their players to miss fewer games than rival teams. The doctor didn't say whether or not falling down and writhing in pain when another player's jersey glances off yours has anything to do with the miraculous health record.


You know that the story of Samson wasn't really about his hair, right? It was about essence. Since before time began (some 5,000 years ago, depending on whom you ask), "learned" men have long blamed women for sapping fellas' strength right out of their urethras. The legend of the Succubus and that of Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo come (heh) from this highly controvertible wisdom. Several studies have been undertaken to determine, from a physiological standpoint, what really happens to an athlete post-sex. Dr. Neil (da) Baum covers the matter most succinctly.
The psychological effects of a pre-sports bone-fest are less measurable and likely depend on the individual. Carolina Panther's wide receiver Steve Smith, for instance, has been alleged to put Tiger (da) Balm on his genitals to get fired up (no pun) for a big game ... and no doctor on Earth would recommend that. Manny Pacquiao abstains and Andy Murray gets buck wild. They're just two champions with two different ways of parting their hair.

While most of us don't need peak athletic performance in our lives, I'd keep it vanilla in the sack the night before your company softball league championship. It would be mighty embarrassing to be on the disabled list due to a mishap involving a Harlem Globetrotter, a bushel of Rainier Cherries and a set of 30-weight ball bearings.

6 Ways You Can Get Off That DON'T Involve Having Sex

Thoughtgasms are a thing, you guys.
Sex is wonderful, from intimacy to pleasure to body heat. (Hey, it's winter!) But while humanity may always be in search of the "big O," there's quite a few ways to get there.
We've long seen that that, while sex obviously plays a big role, orgasms actually begin in the brain. Once we accept that it's possible to orgasm in a variety of ways, we can begin to have a more varied erotic response. Sure, we know we can get off with another person, on our own, or with our favorite well-placed shower head. (Seriously, give that shower head a try—it's all about the right positioning and water pressure!) A great orgasm can even be found from sitting on your washing machine, killing time until those fine washables are ready.
But that's not all. Sexy realities can be found through fantasy, sleep, reading erotic novels (not necessarily Fifty Shades, you guys), or from areas you'd never expect—like, say, a really great yoga class. Ever hear someone moan a bit too much at hot yoga. That "om" may have been an "ohhhh!".
We are our thoughts—and what we read—and, hell, what we breathe during those core exercises. Extra incentive is a whole lot of fun can be found in the most unexpected of places.
6. Thoughtgasms:

Some people have the capacity to induce orgasm by thinking themselves off, but even in those who do not have this ability, thinking about orgasm activates some of the same brain regions as actually having one, says Mark Michaels, co-author of Partners in Passion, Great Sex Made Simple, Tantra for Erotic Empowerment, and The Essence of Tantric Sexuality. This highlights what is possible if you can make a concerted effort to create or reinforce pleasurable associations and more specifically erotic or orgasmic ones.
Photo: We Heart It

WHOA, Girl. 10 Tell-Tale Signs You're Way Too Aggressive In Bed

We're all for enthusiasm, but you might be scaring him off.
Men claim they love it when we take control, when we show them we are as hot for them as they are hot for us. And that’s true – to a point. “Many men I know always claim to wish women would be more aggressive in bed, but having worked in the porn biz for as long as I have, I have seen firsthand what happens to men whose wish is suddenly fulfilled,” says Homegrown Video owner Farrell Timlake, the king of amateur porn. “It is not a pretty sight!”
Timlake recalls one occasion when four huge muscle-bound Czechs were in town making the rounds as studs sporting erections that made even the crew nervous. “They were set to perform with Mila, all 103 pounds of her, a skinny blond with a voracious sexual appetite who actually requested to work with the four guys - at the same time! The action commenced and things got hairy quickly. Mila was a she-leopard clawing, spitting, demanding satisfaction like a demon hellcat with its tail on fire. One of the young bucks suddenly stopped the action.  I asked what the problem was. He looked at me with trouble and concern, his brow wrinkled and face frowning. ‘In my country, the woman is not like this. The man is strong’. “


Not sure if you're too aggressive in bed? Here's 9 signs you might be:
1. He's having a hard time keeping an erection.
“Men claim to want a woman that is insatiable, but do they really know that means facing the irrevocable truth that they only have so many times before their penises beg for mercy and whimper, once proud erections turned to wet noodles that flop about al dente style!” says Timlake.
2. Your toys intimidate him.
"The vibrator you bring into the mix when we have sex is bigger than my penis. Seriously, you just killed my tango-ego!" says Tim McSpadden, CEO of Love a la Carte, LLC.
3. You never stop shouting orders.
You're screaming, lusty commands to "(expletive) your sweet (expletive) faster and harder" are fun for a while, but seriously girl, reel it in a little bit. "I don't want to wake the neighbors, scare the dogs or bruise my pelvic bone," says McSpadden.


4. You always intitate sex.
“Men want to believe that they are the aggressor who make you surrender to them in bed by driving you wild with desire,” says psychologist Dr. Carole Lieberman. So, men begin to feel that you’re way too aggressive in bed if you initiate sex more often than they do, tell them what you want them to do to you, as if you’re conducting an orchestra or barking orders to soldiers, or critique their performance and tell them what you want them to do better next time.
5. He (or you) are literally chafing.
Maybe you like to bring it to the kinky side of things, and that’s fine if you are both into it! If you have been so aggressive, he’s gone into flight mode, abandon ship, says Timlake.


6. You go straight for his dick.
"I hear more men complain that women aren’t aggressive enough in bed,” says Astroglide's Resident Sexologist, Dr. Jess. “But I also hear men complain about their partners going straight for their package as soon as their lips meet,” says Dr. Jess. “Men like foreplay too (research shows men and women desire a similar duration) and the build up and anticipation help to intensify their arousal and eventual orgasm, so take your time and tease a little."
7. You never let him take the lead.
Yes, sometimes it's good to be the girl on top! He likes it when you show your seductress side. But dating expert Laurel House shares that there has to be a balance. Always being the one to take charge can be an emasculating turnoff.


8. You never let him take breaks between orgasms.
You're always on top - and never break eye contact. "You always stay on top even after I come.  I don't care that you're still wet, I'm not raring to keep going like you are. I need at least 30 minutes. And maybe a sandwich," says McSpadden.
9. You always worry about your own orgasm first.
"While you're giving me a blow job, you reach an orgasm on your own before I do - from YOUR blow-job - to me. AWESOME!" says McSpadden.
10. You refuse to let go of control.
Being too aggressive can be a discreet problem, but a huge problem nonetheless. Stop being so rigid. “Stop being afraid that you sound stupid, you're too loud, your butt looks fat, your boobs look flat, or your stomach flags over in one particular position, and instead just let loose and let go!” says House. Both you and he will enjoy sex so much more if you stop being in such control of your every move and moan.