About That Time I Had My First Orgasm In Front Of 25 Other People

Bizarre.
I've always been overly curious about my body. When I was little — like really little, maybe five or six — my mother caught me rubbing a stuffed bunny against my vagina.
First, she told me to stop, then later that day asked me why I was doing that. I told her, "It felt good." But having been told not to do it again, I didn't dare to put the bunny even remotely near the lower half of my body again, and that was the end of my days of rubbing any of my stuffed animals against my vagina.
I didn't yet know what an orgasm was, but my mother rebuffing me didn't exactly put my curiosity to bed, especially since it felt so good.
Some years later, I had a flashback to that stuffed bunny afternoon. I was about 10 and in gym class. For reasons I'll never really understand about the public school system, we were doing a section on rope climbing. Even then, I knew I'd never have to climb a rope in my life for any real reason, but logistics aside, there we all were, climbing ropes for 45 minutes.


Having always been a little thing, I didn't have the upper body strength to climb the regular rope, so I had to use the one with knots. It was embarrassing, as usual, because there were only a few of us stuck with that particular rope, and the gym teacher, as was his way, treated us like mutants because of it.
So, there I was, slowly making my way up, using each knot as a sort of step, and much to my surprise — and probably the surprise of my gym teacher — I reached the top (the ceiling of the gym), where I promptly realized I was afraid of heights. I was terrified, but doing my best to be brave, I didn't dare cry.
I clung on for dear life as my teacher tried to persuade me to not look down, but to just try and maneuver my way, one knot after the other, back to the mat below.
However, as I was up there, my legs wrapped around the rope with the grip of an iron vice, one of the knots pressed up against my crotch and I felt a sensation in my vagina that was ... interesting.


It was far more intense than my bunny-humping days and as I started to blush and sweat, I immediately thought there was something very wrong with me. It felt so good (too good) and so wrong, like I was committing some sort of crime.
My legs began to quiver, my heart was racing, and I remember thinking (because I'm dramatic as hell) that I was dying ... or at least something equally tragic. I didn't want to die in that smelly gym, riddled with blue mats that desperately needed to be washed.
I let the sensation wash over me, hoping it would go away, so I wouldn't have to go to the nurse.
When the feeling passed, and it didn't last long, I made my way back down the rope. I was still shaking a bit when I reached the floor, both from the height and whatever the hell had happened while I was up there.


It wouldn't be until almost four or five years later that I would experience that feeling again — after realizing that my clitoris is clearly the greatest part of my body — that I understood what had happened on that rope that day: I had an orgasm.
Of course, at the time, I was too young to even know what an orgasm was. I was still in that part of my life where I thought sex involved putting a penis in a vagina and just leaving it in all night, as if making stew or something, in a slow cooker, but that's definitely what it was.
I had my first orgasm in front my gym teacher and 25 or so fifth graders, a handful of whom I'm friends with on Facebook these days.
I guess there is something viable in learning to climb ropes after all.

Hey Ladies! 6 Ways To Overcome The "Orgasm Gap" (You're Welcome!)

We've heard of the pay gap, but orgasm inequality is just as serious an issue for many women.
Who knew the cure for some really big problems is right under our nose and between our legs. Yup, according to a post by Penelope Trunk, people who have orgasms earn more, hang out with higher powered people, are better at public speaking, and walk with a more confident gait.
Of course, there's always a hitch. Or in this case, a gap — the "orgasm gap."
Reports Hannah Seligson in the Daily Beast: "Women are shattering political glass ceilings, surpassing men in the workforce, and even winning Indy-car races. But there's one area where the gender gap has proved particularly stubborn: The orgasm gap."
Paula England, a professor of sociology at Stanford University, says the orgasm gap is as serious as the pay gap and "it's producing a rampant culture of sexual asymmetry."


Wow. "Sexual asymmetry!" That sounds so serious. How did we end up here?
One theory has to do with the oral sex inequity. Ladies, stop giving guys so many blowjobs and getting nothing back. I'm serious!
Another issue: men are still twice as likely to climax as women. In hookup situations men are twice as likely to orgasm than women (wild guess here, but could this be connected to the blowjob inequity?). In the context of relationships, women orgasm about 80% as often as men. Other research shows a third of women never had an orgasm during intercourse.
Sadly, we're all too familiar with the source of the problem. Just like with housework, men don't pull their weight on the orgasm front because no one makes them.
So here's my final advice on the matter:
1. Pass on the booty blowjob. As one man explained it, a guy "doesn’t really give a shit" about you with a causal hookup. So why do him any favors?


2. If you want to orgasm, take it seriously and assert yourself. Forget the women-as-passive-receiver stuff and get in there, take responsibility, and make it happen.
3. The clitoris and the penis have the same tissue. This is always a good opening line in explaining to a guy how it all works.
4. Try products that stimulate nerve endings, such a G Clitoral Stimulating Gel (my favorite).
5. Try a little nagging. Hey, if it didn't work, we would have stopped doing it a long time ago, right?
6. If all else fails, find yourself a new guy. And make sure he's rich. The London Times reports that the men who are best at giving women orgasms are also the richest men. (And you thought it was just about diamonds.)

5 Ways "Nice Guys" Can (FINALLY) Dominate Her Orgasms In Bed

Women LOVE a "bad boy" in bed.
If you consider yourself a nice guy who deserves hotter sex more often, this could be the most important article you read all year.
It also might upset you a bit and challenge what you think about women and sex. I recommend you check your ego at the door and get your tough skin ready.
Regardless of what your mommy and society taught you, women do NOT want a “nice guy” in bed. They don’t want a guy who always asks what she wants to do or if he’s doing a “good job.” She does NOT want a guy who takes orders like a trained puppy. She wants the leader of the pack.
She wants a strong, confident man who takes control, pins her down, and dominates her orgasms. Most “nice guys” just don’t have the cajones to give her what she craves.
 

Here are 5 ways to lose the "nice guy" habits and what you can do to REALLY rock her world (without being a jerk):
1. Make her feel really, REALLY sexy.
Look, she wants to be noticed. She wants to feel sexy. She wants to be wanted. Why else do you think she spends so much time getting ready before going out? Most nice guys are too afraid of offending someone that they never give women the kind of attention and compliments they crave.
Telling her that she looks pretty is great, but it’s vague and won’t make her feel sexy or wanted. Saying her that her ass looks irresistibly sexy in that dress and that it’s making you want to do very naughty things — that'll make her feel HOT.
Nice guys are way too polite to give their woman such blunt and sexual compliments, but if you want her to act sexy, you need to start making her feel sexy. So keep giving your girl nice compliments, but make sure you’re giving her naughty ones too!


2. Stop being so damn predictable — it's BORING.
“Bad boys” are fun and exciting because she never knows what they’re going to do — and that’s exciting! Nowhere is this more important than in the bedroom. If you’re in a routine, she’s bored and unsatisfied!
Try undressing her in a new way. Change the way you tease and build her anticipation. Try role playing. Make a sexual bucket list of all the things you both want to try and decide to check one off every week.
Learn the 67 ways to make women come first and use them in different locations, environments, situations, positions, etc.


If you show her that you have plenty of tricks up your sleeve and always bring something new to the bedroom, she’ll always wonder what’s next and she will always crave more.
3. Be more powerful in bed.
In the caveman days, women were attracted to the men who would protect the tribe from enemies and hunt their dinner.
Thankfully we no longer have to go to war and battle lions in order to be attractive to the opposite sex, but women are still biologically attracted to that masculine killer instinct — and the sooner you accept that, the happier both of you will be and the better sex you’ll have.


Now I’m obviously not suggesting that you go picking fights or stop eating anything you haven’t killed with your bare hands, but you do want to develop your masculine aggression, sexualize it, and turn it into raw passion. This means putting her into positions where you have control and lead, such as doggy style. It means giving it to her HARD! It means letting her feel your strength (while still staying safe and respectful of her wishes).
4. Don't be afraid to make some noise.
Women have wild imaginations and once her mind gets going, it’s hard to stop it. If you’re too quiet, she might start to wonder if you’re having fun or not. She might wonder if you spotted something on her body that you don’t like. She might wonder if you’re thinking of someone else.
Stop being quiet and letting her mind wonder towards negative thoughts that push her orgasms further away. Start leading her mind towards exciting and erotic thoughts by using dirty talk to paint sexy pictures in her mind.


Don’t know what to say? Worried you’ll say something stupid? Remember, she wants to feel sexy and desired.
So tell her how sexy she looks and remember, the more specific you are, the better your results. Tell her how sexy her butt looks in that position. Tell her how much you want her. Breathe a little louder, moan more, compliment her body and technique and her arousal will surge.
5. Take the lead.
What turns women on in bed is a man who confidently takes charge and LEADS her to pleasure.
Asking her what position she wants, if you’re doing good, or if she’s almost there yet, are all weak ways of asking her to lead, and that turns her off. Instead, tell her what position to get into. Tell her what to do. Tell her anything that demonstrates you are leading.


Obviously this only works if she believes you’re ultimately going to lead her to pleasure and orgasms.
Learn the 67 ways to make her come first, try your favorite until she's at the brink of orgasm, then stop and tell her she’s not allowed to come yet. This is both teasing and leading and it’s one of the very best ways to make her orgasms much, MUCH stronger … once you finally do decide to let her have it.

Period Sex: Hot Or Not? Here's Everything You Need To Know

Having Sex On Your Period Can Be Just As Good As Regular Sex. Here's How To Make It Great!
Should you or shouldn't you have sex when you're having your period?
Well, of course ... that's up to you. This guide is here to help explain some of the benefits, misconceptions, drawbacks and things you should know about having period sex so that you can make that decision for yourself. Here are my answers to some of the most common questions about period sex:
But, isn't period sex gross?
Well, menstruation (e.g. having your period) is just part of life. Pretty much every woman on earth will menstruate for part of their life, so if you want to view it as 'gross,' then fine, that's your prerogative. But the truth is — it's not weird, different or gross, it's normal. Hopefully the man you plan on having sex with shares this same view.


Does period sex mean I won't get pregnant?
While you're less likely to get pregnant if you have sex during your period, it's not impossible. So to avoid getting pregnant, use appropriate contraception.
Won't period sex be messy?
When having sex on your period, blood will be involved. If you don't want to deal with stains later on, take some precautions. Place a towel on your bed to keep blood off your sheets. Or opt for shower sex, which easily washes any blood right down the drain.
Is my risk for STDs greater?
Having sex during your period does increase your risk of contracting STDs (because your cervix is slightly more open at this time). So, if you and your man are not completely monogamous, use a condom.
Will I have any sensation?
Many women feel incredible sexual pleasure during period sex. One of the great things about it is that the blood acts as a lubricant. So, if you normally struggle with self-lubrication, or usually need to apply lube, nature gives you a helping hand via your own blood.


Will my man act all weird about it?
While period sex is perfectly normal, some guys still act weird about it. This is one of those annoying things you may have to deal with, as there is little you can do about it. Ideally, date someone who doesn't have a problem with it, but, of course, that's hard to know about someone ahead of time. 
Another option if your man is acting strange about it is to just talk to him and let him know that the only person being weird about it is him.
Won't period sex feel painful?
If you suffer from intense cramping when 'surfing the crimson wave,' great news — sex can help relieve that pain. Orgasms are nature's pleasurable painkiller, perfect for making your periods easier to deal with.


Is it freaky or weird to like period sex?
Some people think period sex is unclean or not normal (even though it's perfectly normal and clean when done properly). So, for these people, having period sex can become a real turn-on because of that taboo factor.
Clearly, there are both benefits and drawbacks to period sex.
But either way, it's perfectly normal (and hopefully your man understands this, too).  Just diligently take safety precautions to prevent pregnancy or STDS.
To learn some really intense oral sex techniques to pleasure your man, watch this powerful tutorial video. or, to learn the art of building sexual tension and keeps your man attracted to you, check out this instructional video on how to talk dirty to your man.

I Finally Showed My Boyfriend My Huge, Noisy Vibrator And ... WHOA

My man needs to know I'm the kind of girl who needs jackhammer strength vibration to get off.
I don't know how else to say it: I've always been embarrassed about the way I masturbate. I was a late bloomer when it came to touching myself, and had my first orgasm at age 19. Sure, I'd rubbed myself as a tween and realized that it felt nice but I never managed to use my own hands in a way that made me feel any remotely orgasmic sensations.
Manual stimulation felt pleasant, like a light massage, but I had no idea what kind of fireworks could be generated with the right equipment.
My first vibrator purchase was a petite, beautiful vibrator that worked like a charm but only managed to produce feather-soft vibrations. I liked it on its highest setting but I wished I had a sex toy that could give me a more intense sensation.


At that point, I had no idea vibrators had such a wide range of vibration, but I was determined to find something more powerful. I conducted some late-night research, perusing different sex toy stores online and comparing and contrasting different models, which is eventually how I discovered the Magic Wand — one of the most powerful vibrators on the market.
I didn't just purchase the Magic Wand, I purchased a dual-stimulation rabbit attachment for it, too. When I popped it on top of the wand, it looked like a terrifying medical device from the middle ages, but when I used it, I swear I had the best orgasm of my entire life.
It was a bit clumsy, and absolutely required both hands. Furthermore, it was loud as hell, so I'd layer every blanket I had on top of my body if I wanted to masturbate while my roommates were home.


But oh my god, I loved that wand and attachment and the way it made my body feel. Even though I didn't want anyone to see or hear me using it, the fact that it was big and noisy didn't bother me. It felt like I was operating the lever on heavy machinery, mentally reinforcing the notion that I was about to make my body convulse with powerful orgasms.
My wand never made an appearance outside of solo play, and I purposefully scootched it to the back of my toy drawer so no one else would ever set eyes on it. If I decided to use a vibrator during partnered sex (which was only with people I really trusted), I'd just suck it up and use my less powerful vibe.
When I was 21, I started hooking up with Andrew, who happened to be more than twice my age. When we got together, we would rarely have intercourse because he had a difficult time getting hard.
I brought my small vibrator over in my purse, but since we weren't able to have penis-in-vagina intercourse, he asked me to bring all my sex toys over to his apartment so we could have as many options as possible.


"All of my toys? I've got some pretty crazy stuff. Are you sure?" He reassured me there was nothing I could bring over that would freak him out.
We made plans to meet the next week, and the day of our date I dragged a duffel bag full of toys (including my massive wand and attachment) around with me all day before making my way to his apartment. When he saw the gigantic bag, he immediately tore into it and picked up my wand right off the bat.
"This thing! We're absolutely using it," he exclaimed as he prepped his bed with towels and blankets. And boy, did we use it.
Watching me use the wand turned him on so much that he became hard enough for us to f*ck, and the vibrations transmitting through my body also felt very good for him. We had several more dates of this nature, experimenting with my wide array of tools and toys.


Being with a man who not only tolerated my intense vibrator but enjoyed it for himself made me wonder if I'd been wrong all along. Maybe I wasn't giving my partners enough credit; maybe more people would also be turned on by my big, crazy vibrators.
From that point onward, I had the confidence to ask each new partner if I could use my Magic Wand during sex. Perhaps I chose to sleep with guys who happened to be more open-minded, but I never had a partner turn me down when I brought out my big, noisy vibrators. Sometimes they'd tell me they were unsure how it would feel but it always ended up being a positive experience for both of us.
Currently, I'm with a partner who loves it when I use my vibrator during sex. I'd say I use it 4 out of every 5 sexual encounters. Sometimes we start out with it and sometimes it works it's way into the mix later on, but it's usually what I need to finish myself, and my partner has no problem with that.
I can't believe I ever hid my vibrator from my partners in the first place; it only adds to the experience! I used to think that guys didn't want to see me masturbate unless it was with the sole use of my hands, but over the course of my experience I've learned that guys just want to see me feeling good, no matter how I go about doing it.


I know not everyone is like me but if you need intense vibration to get off, that's nothing to feel ashamed of.

Gwyneth Paltrow's Fancy Vagina Requires This $15,000 Sex Toy (!!!!)

Come back to reality, Gwyneth.
There are so many ways to spice up your sex life. There are various kinks, videos, and toys to try out.
And for actress Gwyneth Paltrow, it's this 24-karat gold plated dildo, the Lelo Inez, that you can get for the hefty price of $15,000.
"Sex toys have long since graduated from the floppy rubber things you hide in your bedside table to beautiful works of interactive art," says the website. Your purchase would also include free discreet shipping, a warranty, and a PDF manual.

According to The New York Daily News, this isn't the first time the actress had recommended high-end products with outrageous prices on her lifestyle website, Goop.
Can't afford the gold? Not to worry — you can get it in silver, for the much lower price of $7,900.
Otherwise, we recommend that you spend that $15k on other things. Besides, you don't need a gold-plated toy to find pleasure. Regular ones are just fine and won't make your pocket cry.

Why I'm A Woman Who MUCH Prefers Masturbation To Sex

I love sex, but I love sex with me more.
I've always been a fan of masturbation, and even if it hadn't been scientifically proven to be really healthy for my body and mind, I'd still prefer it to sex. I don't mean that as an insult to any of my former or current bedmates; I love sex, too. There's just never been anybody who can love me like I can.

When I was eight years old, I was busted at a Christian summer camp teaching the other girls in my cabin that if they put their pelvises up against the jets at the pool, it would feel awesome. I'd made this discovery the prior summer, and after perfecting my technique, I was really excited to share the gospel of this amazing new sensation with anyone who would listen.
Unfortunately, after the counselors discovered why we were all lining up in one corner of the shallow end, I was in a world of trouble. None of those disciplinarians actually explained to me what I was doing by enjoying the sensation of water blasting between my legs, but it was made very clear to me that continuing this practice would somehow earn me an eternal seat in Hell.
This terrified me for about a month until I discovered that I possessed the loophole to those supposedly Satanic pool jets: my hands. Thus began a delightful intimate relationship with myself that has only grown stronger over time.

It would be another few years before I learned exactly what I was accomplishing by stimulating myself and why I shouldn't go around telling everyone about it. Later, once I was old enough to start letting sexual partners bring me to orgasm, I found that the results were somewhat of a letdown.
I was used to getting myself to climax in a fraction of the time it took others to do it, and even with oral sex, it usually wasn't quite as explosive as when I double-clicked my own mouse. Luckily, I have had a couple partners with The Midas Touch — like my husband, whose dexterity is award-worthy. But for the most part, I've settled for a lot of mediocrity so I don't hurt anyone's feelings.
People don't appreciate a lover who answers the "So, was it good for you?" question with, "Well, not as good as when I do it myself."
Let's be honest. Regardless of if it's within a one-night stand or a long-term monogamous relationship, two-or-more-partner sex always has its hang-ups. A partner can get tired, or isn't in the mood, or wants to talk about a recent argument before we get intimate. (I'm guilty of these things, too, by the way. I'm human.) There are things that I want to try that might weird a partner out and vice versa. The list goes on...


But there aren't any problems with my solo sex life; there never have been, other than people thinking I'm weird for enjoying it. Even on days when I feel gross or depressed about life, I can give myself a quickie and turn my mood around almost instantly. It's like free medicine!

The list of pros for "dancin' with myself" is enormous: I don't have to do any prep work or worry about what I look like. I can do it quickly and without a mess. There's always the exact right amount of foreplay. I don't have to worry about getting pregnant or an STD.
I can have as many orgasms as I want without feeling selfish for not reciprocating. I can think about whatever I want, get in any position I want, use whatever toys I want, or make any variety of bizarre noises, without anyone getting uncomfortable and killing the mood. This list goes way on, too.
Simply put, telling me to go f*ck myself is the opposite of an insult.

I Stuck Kegel Yoni Eggs Up Me To Make My Vagina Stronger

When you take them out, it feels like you're laying an egg.
After spending many months around Asia, I have learned to appreciate the healing powers of natural materials. When I discovered Genuine Jade kegel yoni eggs, I was really excited to try them out. Not just for the natural materials, but also because I had yet to try out original-style kegel exercisers.
We were interested to see how they would match up with our duotone system experiences.



The Basics
This three-piece set of yoni eggs comes with three different medium sizes eggs: nephrite jade, rose quartz and obsidian gemstone. Each egg is approximately 43 mm x 30 mm; however, the rose quartz in my set is slightly larger than the other two.
Although they are approximately the same size, they are all different weights due to the different material densities. Obsidian is the lightest at around 46 grams, then the rose quartz about 55 grams, and nephrite jade about 60 grams. Of course, each listed weight is an approximation as they manually carve natural stones, which will cause certain variations. They are all polished without any chemicals and made without any dyes.
Each egg has drill holes at the smaller end for inserting your own string. You should use a hygienic and disposable material like unwaxed and unflavoured dental floss. You do not need to use a retrieval string; it is just an option to make removal easier.


The Packaging
Each stone comes in a separate velvet pouch with care information and care instructions specific to the different stone materials. The three pouches are then placed in a larger velvet pouch with a packet of dental floss.

It is possible for the harder materials to scratch the softer materials, so it is important to keep them separated. The eggs also come with certificates of authenticity, as there are many knockoff jade products available on the market.
(Please note that these are not official medical claims.)
Why Nephrite Jade? Nephrite is a known to be a healing stone that helps the body increase its natural self-healing capacity. It has been connected to healing kidney diseases. Jade is very present in Chinese culture, and is considered to be “The Stone of Heaven.”
Why Obsidian Gemstone? Obsidian is known to be a protective stone that shields against negativity. It absorbs harmful energies from the surrounding environment. It claims to help reduce pain derived from certain conditions. It also is able to help you release disharmony, resentment, fear and anger.


Why Rose Quartz? Rose quartz is known to give comfort to the user. It is associated with carrying the energies of compassion, peace, tenderness and healing and helps the user feel a strong sense of self-worth. It has also been used to help rejuvenate skin.
Kegel-ing
This has been my best experience with kegel exercisers so far. There are no fancy gimmicks going on, just a perfectly smooth egg shape made from natural materials.


Threading: The dental floss is easier to thread than I expected. The drilled holes are the perfect size and there was absolutely no frustration with adding a retrieval string.
Inserting: Each one is INCREDIBLY easy to insert. I don't even need lubricant to slide them in (you might need to use some, and that is OK). The smooth material helps the process. You insert the larger egg end first, because the smaller one has the retrieval string attached to it. It just slides right in to the right positions without any issues or any pain. I was definitely pleasantly surprised.
Exercising: I always start with the smallest weight, which in this case happens to be the obsidian egg (black). I gradually increased from to the rose quartz (pink) and then the nephrite (green). I have to say that the weight difference is not intensely different, which is a good thing for me. If I increase weights too quickly, then I lose interest in training my PC muscles.
There is only about a 15 gram difference between the lightest and heaviest, so it just adds a small resistance. The sizes were all perfect for me. I still have fairly weak PC muscles, so I like having a medium size egg. The smaller the egg, the more difficult the exercises will be.


Removing: All you need to do is find the dental floss and give it a few gentle tugs. The eggs slide right out. The shape always gives me a good giggle because I feel like I'm laying an egg.

Cleaning: Cut the dental floss off because it is a one-time use cord. Care instructions are included in the kit. You can clean it with soap and water or you can sanitize by boiling. It is suggested on the website to insert the rose quartz egg into cold water and then start boiling, as inserting directly into boiling water might result in some cracks (like a real egg!). Make sure you clean inside the drill holes.
Flaws


The one flaw is that the website is not gender-neutral. It emphasizes that the kegel eggs are for women. We know a few men who can use them too! We will forever advocate for gender neutrality.
Conclusion
We are super happy with this kegel set. Not only are the kegel yoni eggs made of such beautiful materials, but the simplicity of the set is a huge bonus. The smoothness allows for easy insertion and removal, while the weight, size and shapes allow for a comfortable exercise session.
This particular kit does not allow for a wide range of challenges, as the three eggs are similar in size and weight. However, there is a large selection of sets available from Genuine Jade that can allow you to choose the difficulty level you desire. Each set lists the approximate sizes and weights.


Recommended for: People who look for simple but effective kegel accessories. People who believe in the healing powers of certain natural materials or who appreciate natural products. People who are looking for a small challenge for their PC muscles.
Not recommended for: People who prefer a duotone system. People who need a larger challenge (although other sets exist for this reason).

Advice For The Man Who Gets Totally Grossed Out When His GF Squirts

It's like the bonus prize in your favorite box of cereal!
We here at The Swingset are always happy to help with any questions or concerns you have, please don’t hesitate to ask!
Today’s question came through the grapevine via Kendra Holliday and The Beautiful Kind.
Q. I recently met a woman and we really hit it off on a lot of levels.
We’ve been out on “dates” three times in three weeks and has been great.
Well, over New Years weekend we spent almost 3 days together and finally slept together.
It was great except for one thing ... she is a squirter.
Now let me tell you, I have no problem with this normally. It’s not a particular kink of mine, but I'm not against it. However, the volume of fluid was incredible and I had to pull out several times just to let her catch her breath. VERY sensitive and orgasmic.


This may be some guy’s dream, and I have to admit it’s a turn on to see a woman so excited, but it can be almost too slippery, and I started to lose sensation.
She is awesome and we are very compatible both sexually and as a couple. I'm a very sexual guy who is open to almost anything, but I can see this becoming a distraction.
A little goes a long way, but a lot can get in the way.
What are your thoughts?
Signed,
Anonymous
A. So, as many of our readers/listeners know, I have rather vast experience with exactly what you’re describing.
My wife is a gusher and multi-orgasmic. She can gush many times over the course of an evening, soaking everything in sight. Initially we didn’t quite realize what was happening. All I noticed was that she would get exceedingly wet and I would lose sensation.


We’d stop, dry her off, and start again.
She began to get self-conscious about it. Then we learned a little more about gushing.
Given how rare female orgasms are in general, a gushing orgasm is like the crown jewel.
Usually this is indicative of a g-spot orgasm.
My recommendation here is to shift your thinking so you can see this as the amazing and rare thing that it is.
It's something most women are capable of, but few actually reach. With your encouragement and enthusiasm, seeing this as an awesome thing rather than something you would rather she not do will change the entire dynamic.


Think of how you would feel if she said, “You know, you just make too much cum, can you make less? It’s irritating and distracting in my mouth.”
Once she’s confident with her skill, kegel exercises can help her control it dramatically. Awareness of how her body feels before she squirts will also help.
My wife learned how to hold it in for as long as she wants — to then create a super squirting finale that would make the Bellagio Hotel fountain in Las Vegas jealous.
It’s a bonus feature, not a bug.
And stock up on a Liberator Fascinator Throe or two to protect your bed/couch/floor/kitchen table.


Listen now: Talking honestly and earnestly about their experiences as women, Katie and Ginger of Life on the Swingset: The Podcast get unapologetically bitchy. They share their uncensored and unfettered voices on topics like privilege, female socialization, male entitlement, rape culture, consent, and the true experience of owning your power. With humor, stories, and bonding over the pay gap, Katie and Ginger wind down with their list of demands from the men of the world … no more and no less. Brace yourself. It’s the Bitchcast.

7 Sex Positions For Small Penises, Because It's Not About SIZE

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The Surprisingly Easy Way To Orgasm EVERY Time You Have Sex

WHOA.
You know that awful feeling during sex when it becomes clear that you aren't having an orgasm?
You might be horny as hell, and your partner might be super attentive, but no matter what you do and no matter what they try, there is no orgasm in your immediate future.
Well, it turns out, according to neuroscientist Adam Safron, that there is a key to making DAMN sure you have an orgasm every single time you have sex.
It's no magical sex position, and it isn't trying some fancy new sex drug.
Safron's solution is simple.
He says that in order to guarantee a woman has an orgasm her partner has to maintain his rhythm.
It's a simple as that!
Safron says that prolonged, repetitive stimulation is necessary for a good orgasm during sex.
This stimulation puts your body in a trance-like state called neural entrainment.
The idea is that putting so much focus on stimulation guides your body naturally into a state of orgasm.

Believe it or not, Safron says it's a mental state not all that different from what happens when a person has a seizure.
Only, you know, it's sexier and less terrifying.
To get all science-like about your orgasm, Safron says: "Synchronization is important for signal propagation in the brain, because neurons — a specialized cell carrying nerve impulses — are more likely to fire if they are stimulated multiple times within a narrow window of time"
In other words, the right rhythm can be the secret for how to have an orgasm during sex.


So what happens when the stimulation is there but the rhythm is off?
You know the feeling. He's moving you around too much, or trying some fancy moves, or maybe she's practicing the alphabet on your clitoris with her tongue...
Turns out that your mind interprets those signals as a sign that it's time to reset your brain!
In other words, if your partner's rhythm is off, it might actually be HARDER for you to orgasm than it would be if they would just keep it simple and focus on consistent rhythm.
This, I posit, is why it's always good to have sex with some pop music playing..
Pop music doesn't seem like your natural first choice fro sex music, but does it keep a beat and a rhythm that's impossible to resist? Oh very much so.

So turn up the One Direction and get your orgasmic freak on, guys and gals!

The 5 WORST Sex Positions For Orgasm (And How To Fix Them)

Don't let your favorite position interfere with your O.
By Jamie Hergenrader
To state the obvious, you can have mind-blowing sex without also having an orgasm. The skin-to-skin contact, the views, sounds, and the emotional connection you might feel with your partner are all part of the package.
But when given the chance, who wouldn’t want the added bonus of a big O when you’re getting busy?
Problem is, some sex positions make an orgasm hard to come by.
The biggest reason: "Many men prefer sex positions where they can control penetration and often these positions are not clitoral-centric," says Kat Van Kirk, Ph.D., licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist. And since more than 80 percent of women are reliant on clitoral stimulation during sex to orgasm, that's no bueno, she says.


But it's time for you to start calling the shots, friend. Boost your chances of reaching the finish line with these tweaks and tips to hit all the good spots, even in some notoriously orgasm-wrecking positions.


1. Missionary Position

Watching your man grind on top of you and making eye contact can be super sexy. But your clitoris is usually left out of the action, says Van Kirk. Translation: no O.
The solution: Flip things around by lying on top of him with his legs outstretched. When you’re riding high, rub your clit against him as you move. Or, regardless of who’s on top, you can add a vibrating penis ring into the mix so you’ll both reap those buzzy benefits.



2. Reverse Cowgirl Position

Just like with missionary, your clit is missing out on some love. 
The solution: Use your hands or a vibrator to stimulate your c-spot while you move, says Van Kirk. And while you’re getting off, he gets a great view of you in action. Win-win.

3. Standing Sex Position

Doing it vertical style is hot in the movies, but logistically challenging IRL. Your heights and the angle of penetration just aren't very orgasm-friendly, says Van Kirk.
The solution: Prop one leg up on a chair or another piece of furniture to combat the height difference, and open your legs wider so that your guy can wrap his arm around or under you to stimulate your clitoris during sex. You can also low-five yourself from this angle if he's not doing it for you.



4. Doggy Position

Like the others, there’s no easy clitoral contact with this sex position, and some women report that their partners go too deep while doing it doggy, which can be painful, says Van Kirk.
The solution: Let your partner know he's going too far, or place your hand at the base of his penis to limit his penetration. "This is a good position to find the best way to stimulate your G-spot," says Van Kirk. "Your best bet is to have him use short, quick, consistent thrusts," she says. And if you’re looking for some clitoral action, you can reach back with your hands or a vibrator.

5. Spooning Position
It’s a favorite for mornings when you’re feeling lazy, or for some close-contact action, but it doesn’t provide the best angle for your orgasm, says Van Kirk.
The solution: While you’re spooning, raise your top leg up and hold it or rest it on his top leg, she says. That makes it easier for you or your guy to reach your clitoris. Bonus: Instead of having him inside you, he can thrust his penis between your closed thighs, so that his tip comes in contact with your clitoris.

7 Sex Positions That Prevent You From Having The Orgasm You DESERVE

Stay away from these.
We've said it before and we'll say it again: Some sex positions are just not for everyone. And while there are positions that are more likely to show you a good time (so to speak), there are also those that usually won't if you can't orgasm.
Positions in which you feel self-conscious are likely to impede orgasm because when you’re distracted by physical concerns, you’re unlikely to reach the level of relaxation required to climax.
"Right before orgasm, the lateral orbitofrontal cortex (the section behind the left eye responsible for sound decision-making) turns off completely. Distractions related to self-consciousness can hinder this natural response," says sexologist Dr. Jess O'Reilly.


The band-aid solution involves avoiding these sex positions or lowering the lights, but the long-term solution, which addresses the core issue as opposed to the symptom, involves boosting body image. If you're doing any of these 7 sex positions, your orgasm may allude you completely.
1. Missionary
Sometimes, the missionary position doesn't hit any of the right spots for a woman; therefore, it can be really difficult for her to orgasm.
"Adding a pillow under her bottom can assist with angling him against her clitoris and G-spot. She can also easily stimulate her own clitoris manually or by adding a sex toy to enhance the position and increase the likelihood of reaching climax," says Antonia Hall, MA., psychologist, relationship expert and sexpert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life.


2. Doggy Style
This position decreases the length of the vagina, which means that his penis may feel uncomfortably big.
"It also increases the likelihood of his hitting her cervix, which is painful and a serious mood killer. There's also a decreased sense of intimacy in this position. Add a pillow under her and have him angle his penis to the side where he's less likely to hit the cervix and more likely to hit the A-spot. She can turn her head to glimpse at her man, and also add manual stimulation to her clit to assist with reaching the big O," says Hall.


3. Standing Up



While it looks hot and sexy on screen, the likelihood that two people are going to match up well while standing is not great.
"This can make things awkward, which is not the surrendered mind frame a woman needs to reach orgasm. Adjustments can be made by having her lean back against furniture or stand on tip toes. She can also lube a few fingers and play with her clit or have her man add direct stimulation to take her mind back to pleasure and increase her chances of orgasming," says Hall.


4. Reverse Cowgirl
While a wild ride on your man may sound like fun, this position doesn't offer connectivity and intimacy, and can be challenging to physically maneuver and maintain.
"If a guy is angled wrong, he can actually get injured by her weight thrusting down on him. Take it slow, rocking your hips gently over his lap, which can stimulate the G-spot with very little movement. Add fingers or a toy to your clit for more pleasure," says Hall.


5. 69
It's just really hard to concentrate on your own pleasure while you are concentrating on pleasuring him. But more than that, sex is very mental and the positioning of 69 lacks intimacy. It's way better to take turns performing oral sex so you can both relax and enjoy it.
6. In Water




Having sex in water can be a great fantasy, but the reality doesn't always match up.
"Being immersed can actually take natural lubrication away and leave a woman with a painful intercourse experience. There are also too many mental considerations to making the sexual experience work, plus all of the adjustments. Woman orgasm more easily when they feel relaxed and comfortable, making this more effort than it's worth," says Hall.
7. Any position that offers discomfort




All photos: weheartit
This could be any position in which you feel physically or emotionally uncomfortable: your knees hurt when you’re on top, doggie style isn’t intimate enough, and so on.
"To be clear: the discomfort (of whatever sort) can block or minimize how arousing you find the sex. Lower arousal equals way less chance of an orgasm," says sexologist Carol Queen of Good Vibrations.