Inside the Secret Lives Of Sex Workers Who Are Moms

Being a sex worker in this country is hard enough. Heck, the term ‘sex worker’ just became a part of the wider vernacular. Before that, it was 'prostitute,' 'hooker' and much worse.  The lives of sex workers in this country may be slightly improving but it’s still a difficult life. For those sex workers who have children, that difficulty is far greater. We look inside the secret lives of sex workers who are moms.

Do you think sex workers who are moms have it harder? Let us know in the comments!

Dez. The subject of sex worker moms became a hot topic this week when NFL prospect Dez Bryant was being vetted for the draft and an NFL executive asked him pretty intrusive question. Bryant was asked if his mom was a prostitute.

Apology. The NFL eventually made a public apology for asking this question of Bryant but the controversy brought the subject into the public eye. The reality is that there are sex workers in America who are also mothers.

Zoe Hansen. Zoe Hansen is a former prostitute living in the East Village of Manhattan. She’s no longer a sex worker but she’s not a mother. She recently told The Daily Beast, "If someone asking my son if his mother was a whore is the worst possible thing that happens to him, I’ll consider him extremely fortunate and my job well done.”

Pride. In her article for the Daily Beast, Tracy Quan points out that “Being proud of your job as a sex worker doesn’t always mean being open about it.” For a prostitute who’s also a mom, this is one of many dilemmas they have.

SPEP. Ruth Morgan Thomas was a sex worker employed at a massage parlor in Edinburgh, Scotland. She’s now the founder of an organization called the Scottish Prostitutes Education Project, helping sex workers in the area.

Ruth. “I’ve never had any help from Tara’s father,” Ruth told the Daily Beast, “and I left him when she was 2 and a half.” Ruth eventually worked as an escort. But even now that she’s no longer in the business she’s unabashed about having been a sex worker. She recently travelled to Japan for a conference about sex workers and AIDS.

Kids. “One place where I was not out as a sex worker was my daughter’s school. When Tara was 7, somebody outed me, and the children in her class heard about it. She was being harassed by the boys in the playground. They were offering her 50 pence for a feel, which was not within her understanding at that age.” Ruth told the Daily Beast.

Outed. The possibility of being outed, especially to your children is one of the biggest dilemmas of being a sex worker and mom. Kids have a tendency to be cruel and no mother wants their child to be bullied.

Ruth’s child. Ruth decided to deal with her child situation like she would if a child were being bullied about anything else. "I said, what are you going to do about this bullying and harassment? They didn’t expect me to come in and stand up for her. I was supposed to hang my head in shame.”

Response. Unfortunately, the school did not respond the way that Ruth had hoped. instead of trying to help her child, they tried to hurt her. "A school medical officer began sending Ruth 'invitations to lectures on moral rearmament' ” writes the Daily Beast.

Solution. Eventually, Ruth was left with no choice but to send her child to private school which was not only difficult but expensive. "It wasn’t my first choice, because I believe in state education, but I couldn’t protect my daughter from the level of stigma and discrimination she was experiencing there.”

Claudia. Claudia is a UK mom who worked as an escort before she had kids, but then, when her kids were older, she found herself in financial troubles and began working phone sex lines. She only worked when the kids were at their father’s house.

Quit. Eventually though, Claudia had to quit. She explained to the Daily Beast what caused her to quit "One evening, my oldest came home unexpectedly. I had to fake an orgasm very quickly under the duvet. And the work was very badly paid.”

Prepared. Claudia says that prostitution was good preparation for her to become a mother. “The ability to read a dangerous situation, stay calm, not show your reactions, is a very important skill. If I’m worried about something, I can talk to my kids without being verbally aggressive.”

High class. The article tells the story of another mother who works as a high class escort in Australia. She raises her child and pays child support, as well as her legal fees with the money she makes working only a few days a week. However, her legal fees are especially high because the courts have given her a really hard time about seeing her children because of her profession.