How do blind people... A Quora forum asked the question: “How do blind people discover their sexual orientation?” You may be thinking “they just know," “they figure it out like the rest of us,” or something along those lines.
How do blind people... The responses to this Quora forum were saying similar things like, attraction is based on more than simply sight. Some people (who are not blind) mentioned that they believe that smell is a factor. In fact, one man revealed he puts a special premium odor on himself.
How do blind people... “I'm not blind, but for me, it's mostly odor.” Eric Penke says. "It has nothing to do with traditional women's preference for floral scents and men's for spice scents, though this may mimic some other smell. To me, men and women just smell different.” It's possible odor plays into it, seeing as blind people do rely on their other senses more heavily.
How do blind people... Another answer found the question to be baffling and insulting. “For many people, physical challenge[s] of any kind seems to imply that the individual is missing something imperative that limits their ability to perceive the world as able bodied persons do,” Carole Herbster writes. “Why being blind would interfere with the self knowledge of whether someone is gay/lesbian fascinates me. The absence of sight actually heightens the other senses so from an overall perspective, the actual loss is minimal.”
How do blind people... People with sight can make assumptions and opinions on the topic. However, the only people who truly can tell us how blind people determine their sexuality are people who are actually blind-- blind and gay, to be more specific.
How do blind people... One of the posters on the Quora forum, Nivvedan Senthamiselvan, decided to enlighten the form with a firsthand perspective. He posted a link and important quotes from Robert Feinstein, a blind gay man, who posted his story on BENT. BENT is a website that features the stories of gay men with disabilities.
How do blind people... Feinstein has been blind since birth. So, he cannot rely on attraction cues from before he was blind like some have suggested. He always knew he was different from the other kids, but not in the way you’re thinking.
How do blind people... “I didn't fit in with the sighted kids, but what was worse, I didn't fit in with the blind kids, either. All the boys were interested in sports and rough games. I wasn't,” Feinstein says, “Some talked about girls, but because I was blind from birth, and because nobody ever talked to me about sex, I had no idea what was being discussed. I am ashamed to say that I didn't even know the difference between girls and boys, except that girls were usually nicer to me, and yet, I felt a strange feeling when hugging a male student.”
How do blind people... Feinstein had a lack of knowledge about sex, but did have social cues from his classmates about who he was supposed to be attracted to. However, Feinstein still gravitated towards the same sex despite the kindness of the opposite gender he encountered.
How do blind people... Feinstein’s realization about his sexuality came from a feeling. He just knew based on how he felt when around the same sex. “I realized that I had a strange feeling when close to people of my own sex that I did not have when I was with women. I somehow knew that this was not the way it should be, and never mentioned it to anyone," Feinstein says.
How do blind people... For the people who like to say “you never know until you try,” Feinstein did try to like girls, but to no avail. The realization came shortly after. He wanted to seek out a college campus discussion group but was afraid.
How do blind people... “I tried dating girls, and forced myself to kiss them, but I knew it wasn't working. I wanted to talk about my feelings, but had nobody to express them to,” Feinstein says. He was scared of others finding out he was gay, so for awhile, he kept it to himself.
How do blind people... From what is described in Feinstein’s account, he seems to have always known deep down. It wasn’t anything specific that switched a flip and made him realize. The realization came naturally.
How do blind people... So maybe, this is an example that sexuality is inherent. Maybe this means that blind people’s other senses make up for their lost one enough to determine who they are attracted to-- based on things like smell and touch. Unfortunately, we don’t know for sure.
How do blind people... This is only one case and it can’t be the determinant for all blind people who identify as gay. It is, however, interesting to account for individual stories in an effort to understand and come from a place of knowledge when having these conversations.
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