7 SIGNS YOU’RE NOT SATISFYING HER IN BED

She may “ooh” and “ahh” at all the right times but that doesn’t mean she’s actually feelin’ it. But you already knew that—and that’s precisely why you’re here, right?

When it comes to your ability to please your bedroom buddy, there’s both good news and bad news. First the good: According to one 2014 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, men slightly underestimate how satisfied their partners are in bed. Which means there’s a good chance she’s into it despite your doubts. The bad news? That doesn’t mean there aren’t women out there who wish that their sex life was a bit spicier. To help clue you into the signs that she’s not satisfied in bed, we talked to Megan Fleming, Ph.D. a clinical psychologist and sex therapist. Here, she reveals what signs could indicate her feelings are running cold and exactly how to make things right so she’ll be begging you for a second round. Read on to get in the know.

1. She’s Doesn’t Give Feedback

If you feel like she’s mentally checked out or she’ not responsive to your touch or verbal cues, “this could be an indicator she’s not feeling pleasure or that she’s not in the mood,” Fleming tells us. That said, some girls are shy and quiet in bed, and if that’s the case, she may not outright say that she’s loving your moves. Sound like your lady? Look for physical signs she’s enjoying herself. Panting, flushed skin, curled toes, and an arched back are all telltale signs you’re turning her on and pleasuring her. If she's not into it, none of these things will be evident and she may just lie there.

2. She Plays Director

On the other end of the spectrum, if she’s constantly telling you to “go faster” or “do it like this,” it may be a sign that you’re not giving her pleasure. But since she’s trying to help you improve, this shouldn’t be viewed as a bad thing, but rather as a learning experience. “If she’s giving you guidance and feedback, see the value of learning her preferred turn-ons,” says Fleming. “If she’s constantly giving you feedback she wants to help you get it right for her. If in the moment her suggestions leave you feeling like you can’t get it right no matter what you try, let her know that although well-intentioned, her instructions weren’t helpful.” Think a demo or video could help you better understand? Tell her that.

3. She Goes to Bed at a Different Time 

—and this is a new behavior. If your girlfriend has always gone to bed early on Sundays or super late on Quantico nights, don’t sweat it. But if this is a new thing for her, she may be trying to avoid intimacy because she's feels you guys are in a sexual rut or she’s not happy with your performance. But before you freak out, know this: “It might also be because she has new pressures in the office and is exhausted or is simply not in the mood,” explains Fleming, adding, “Get curious and learn more. Ask her what conditions would need to shift or change for her to be excited to go to bed with you.”

4. She Doesn’t Want to Have Sex

It may be you and not her. “When your partner becomes less interested in sex, it’s time to get really curious and ask questions to learn more about what she feels is missing and what she would need from you to become more interested. The most important thing is that you don’t jump to conclusions,” says Fleming. You may discover that she wants to mix things up, or that she doesn’t like your go-to move, but you’ll likely learn other valuable information, too. “There are many reasons women may not be interested in having sex. Get a sense of what’s going on in her life. Does she have more work demands? Has her noisy roommate been waking her up in the middle of the night? Have you recently had difficulties staying aroused or have you been reaching orgasm quickly? There are a number of things that could be at play.”

5. She Doesn’t Want to Cuddle Afterwards

If she’s never been an after-sex snuggler, this likely isn’t cause for alarm, but if she’s always trying to be little spoon and then suddenly stops, something may be going on. “There are a number of reasons a woman may not want to cuddle after sex, and yes, one of them is that she’s not satisfied. If you’ve noticed a recent change in her sexual behavior or interest use it as an opportunity to discover her turn-ons and desires,” suggests Fleming.

6. She Talks About Other People’s “Great” Sex Lives

By now you probably know that not all women are direct. Sometimes we like to drop hints because we don’t feel comfortable flat out saying what’s on our mind. And that may be what’s going on here. If she keeps telling you about her BFF’s hot sex life, it could be her way of communicating to you that she’s not happy with what you guys have got going on between the sheets—and she wants to spice things up! So what’s your next move? “Express interest and ask her to tell you more!” advises Fleming. “Ask her what makes their sex lives hot and find out if they’ve done anything she’s up for trying with you.” This gives you the opportunity to give her exactly what she craves.

7. She Doesn’t Care if She Orgasms

This one doesn’t hold true for all women so before jumping to any conclusions, it’s important to stop and think about your partner. “Some women enjoy sex for the pleasure and connection and aren’t particularly attached to whether or not they have an orgasm. Other women desire and strive for an orgasm every time,” explains Fleming. “Some women have never had an orgasm and may or may not want you to take on that challenge. Find out what her orgasm means to her, and don’t simply assume she doesn’t care about having one because you’re not pleasuring her.” That said, if she’s previously been focused on reaching the big O every time you have sex and that’s no longer the case she may have stopped trying to go over the edge because she doesn’t think you can get her there.

THE MOST INSANE WEIGHTLIFTING EXERCISE WE'VE EVER SEEN

If the ‘Vaginal Kung-Fu’ expert sounds like a scary villain in a cheesy horror flick, we’re here to set the record straight with the latest weightlifting phenomenon we encountered this week.

In a “you have to see it to believe it” video, sex and relationship expert Kim Anami shows off the weightlifting trick we, um, don’t recommend trying at home. Amani tells The Daily and Sunday Express that she can “lift coconuts, household objects and even a surfboard with her vagina.” 

Her unique weightlifting technique involves, “tying a thin piece of string to a jade-covered egg, which is then inserted into her vagina. She attaches the other end of the string to whichever object she is lifting - be it weights, tropical fruits or even Oscar trophies,” according to the article on The Daily and Sunday Express.

While we’re cringing and crossing our legs just thinking about this crazy party trick (that we don’t really want to see in person), Anami does have a positive female sexuality message to go along with this unusual workout. She wants women to know that it’s important to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles to enhance orgasms and preventing pelvic organ prolapse (when your muscles are weakened after childbirth and your bladder drops from it’s normal place into the walls of the vagina). We think you’re better off starting with some kegel exercises first to build pelvic floor muscle strength, and then try these 6 Best Exercises for an OMG Orgasm.

ALL THE DIFFERENT WAYS A WOMAN CAN ORGASM

Not to say you're a one-trick pony. But when it comes to orgasms, women are a bit more multidimensional, according to a new Concordia review.

"Unlike men, women can have a remarkable variety of orgasmic experiences, which evolve throughout the lifespan," says lead author Jim Pfaus. "A woman's erotic body map is not etched in stone, but rather is an ongoing process of experience, discovery and construction." 

By reviewing old and new scientific breakthroughs in sexuality, researchers looked into the evolution of "the clitoral versus vaginal orgasm debate" (whether a women can reach climax through vaginal stimulation alone, or if external clitoral stimulation is a must) and found it's actually even broader than we realized.

In the review, published in Socioaffective Neuroscience & Psychology, researchers found women can orgasms from one or more sources of sensory input, which isn't necessarily new insight. Females can climax from solo stimulation of, or a combination of, the clitoris (externally), around and on the G-spot (internally), the cervix, and stimulation of non-genital areas like the nipples, lips, ears, neck, fingers and, uh, toes. But to really make sure she goes over the edge, the combination is key.

"With experience, stimulation of one or all of these triggering zones are integrated into a 'whole' set of sensory inputs, movements, body positions, arousals and cues related to context," Pfaus says. So if you really want to blow her mind and give her sex she's dying to tell all her friends about, make sure you're paying attention to at least two trigger points.

Pfaus adds: "That combination of sensory input is what reliably induces pleasure and orgasm during masturbation and intercourse."

But adds, as a disclaimer, this is likely to change. She's going to "experience different kinds of orgasms from different types of sensations in different contexts and with different partners," he explains. So experimenting with new techniques is a must—and can help keep the spark from dying out.

Explore what a "whole" orgasm means to your partner—what body parts, techniques, and tempos she likes and what she can do without. 

While we offer tips on the best sex positions that'll get her off every time, they may not work for every woman or every time. 

Bottom line: You need to change up your bedroom routine. Experiment more. Pay more attention to foreplay. And don't just zero in on one body part. What will get her going one morning might not get her off the next night. And, as the researchers suggest, you could unlock the mother of all orgasms for her. You just need to find what buttons to press in that moment. 

MAKE HER ORGASM

You may think that wildly jackhammering her rocks your woman's world, but if she hasn't told you already: That ain't true. There's actually an art to giving her a mind-blowing orgasm, more than just having a big brush. "trust me," says Gabrielle Moore, author of The Female Orgasm Revealed. "Combining foreplay, clitoral stimulation, partial penetration, and anal stimulation can literally be like sexual dynamite for women. Her recipe:

Foreplay First
Target all of her erogenous zones—especially her neck, nipples, and inner thighs—with your lips, tongue, and fingertips. Remember, this is a marathon not a sprint, so take it slow. "Get her to the point where she's literally begging. But then hold back. Having sex before reaching that magic moment decreases your chances of giving her an orgasm."

Go Halfway
"Penetrate her slowly but just partially, and then stop for a few seconds. Don't go in completely for three to five minutes . . . until she begs you even more."

Encourage Her to Touch—Herself "Take her hand and gently guide it to her clitoris. Clitoral stimulation during sex will significantly boost most women's chances of reaching an orgasm."

Use Her Assets The finish line is near. Move on to full penetration, gradually increasing the speed and depth of your thrusts. "As she gets closer and closer to orgasm, try a bit of gentle anal stimulation. It'll increase the intensity of her orgasm even more."

How To Give The Best Blow Jobs He'll Ever Have

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Confession: I love giving a partner a good blow job.

I know some women hate performing oral sex on a guy, and I get it—having someone's junk thrusting inside your mouth (and ugh, the annoying head push!) isn't everyone's idea of fun. But to me, there's nothing more empowering and exciting than to have full control of over a penis—and by effect, the man attached to it.

"Men love blow jobs because the act feels like sex, but it's a very different experience—they get to relax and receive and just enjoy what's happening in front of them," says Vanessa Marin, a certified sex therapist in L.A. (who makes me feel a lot less anti-feminist, I must say).

"The visual element of watching their penis slip in and out of a mouth gets a lot of guys going," she adds. Not to mention, unlike a hand job or even penetrative sex, men can't replicate the sensation of a blow job on their own (obviously). Your mouth is wet and warm, like a vagina (or a lubed-up hand), but your lips and tongue are living, roving, irreplaceable works of art.

But like with any sex act, enjoying the experience yourself (which, if you're going to do it, you absolutely should) typically comes from having some level of confidence in yourself—and that comes from knowing what you're doing.

So here's how to give the best blow job he'll ever have (I swear)—and making it more pleasurable for yourself in the process:

1. Show enthusiasm about giving him a blow job.

By far the number one rule for giving good head is acting like you want to be giving head.

"The biggest complaint I hear from male clients about blow jobs has nothing to do with technique and everything to do with their partner's enthusiasm about it," Marin says. "Men will have a great time if they know their partner is enjoying it." (Aww.)

That's not to say you should pretend you like doing something in the bedroom if you straight-up don't. (On that vein, never do something you're not comfortable with a sexual partner.) But if you're going to consider going down a guy—which, if you're reading this article, it seems that you are—the best thing you can bring to the BJ party is a good attitude.

A few ways to show your enthusiasm:

• Make eye contact. Don't stare at him the entire time without blinking (creepy), but do take conscious breaks to switch your gaze from his penis to his eyes, taking in all of his facial cues. (This is also a great opp to bat your lashes and "smize," you sexpot.)
• Tell him how turned on you are. You know how you can get self-conscious when a partner goes down on you? Yeah, so can he. So compliment how hard he is in your mouth and how excited that's making you. Or be straightforward: "I love how your penis feels in my mouth." Simple, but effective.
• Ask him what he wants. Your asking for live feedback shows that you care and want to give him the best experience possible. Ask "How does this feel?" right before you put your mouth back on him, or "Is this wet enough for you?" midway through. One question not to ask: "Dude, are you close yet?"
  
  

2. Bring your hands into the mix.

A blow job might count as oral sex, but that doesn't mean your mouth has to do all the work. "I like to think of the mouth as providing wetness and your hands as providing tightness," says Marin.

If your jaw starts to feel sore or tired a few minutes into the job, you're likely suctioning too hard with your mouth. So shift some of the work to your hands, counting on them for pressure.

Here's your basic stroke once you've warmed up a bit:

1. Wrap your dominant hand around his shaft, then add your mouth.
2. Connect your hand to your lips—as in, press your index finger and thumb (which are making an O sign) against your lips and keep them sealed there.
3. Move your hand-plus-lips up and down his penis.

If he's well-endowed (go, girl), you can keep your mouth in one place and move your wet hand up and down separately.

Then from there, you can mix up your hand technique a bit. Try the Wrist Twist: With your mouth on his penis (this is still oral sex), rotate your firm wrist in clockwise circles as you move your hand up and down.

Bring your other hand into the game once you've gotten your bearings. The best placement? Use it to cup and gently squeeze his balls.

3. Don't be afraid to add spit (lots of it).

During one of the first blow jobs I ever gave (to a guy I'd been dating for five months, so we were super comfortable with each other), my partner told me to spit on him. It freaked me out for a sec—I remember wondering if spitting was some weird fetish—but then realized he just liked it extra wet.

While every man is definitely different and has his own personal preferences, I've found that most agree that a good blow job requires a lot of saliva. You don't want to go overboard to the point that your hand is slipping all over the place, but try to do some **sexy** spitting (read: make it subtle) whenever his penis starts to feel a little dry.

On that note, keep a glass of water nearby to prevent dry mouth—you'll need it.

4. Keep your tongue soft and loose—for the most part.

When you're blowing him, your tongue provides the warmth, texture, and wetness that he can't get elsewhere.

To maximize its sensation, Marin suggests keeping your tongue soft in your mouth when you're moving up and down (the majority of your blow job), then using the tip of your tongue to trace the head and frenulum—the underside where the penis head (if circumcised) meets the shaft.

Those two areas, especially the frenulum, are packed with nerve endings, so he'll go crazy.

You can also use the flat side of your tongue to lick from the bottom of his shaft to the very tip and down again, or throw in a few tongue flicks. These are more like little garnishes to sprinkle in—and tbh, a little porn-esque, so call on your inner kink.

5. Pretend you're about to say the word purple.

At some point during my writing career in women's magazines, I picked up a tip from a sexpert (I wish I could remember who!) that has become my trusty signature move. (I almost hate sharing it, but in the name of better blow jobs for all...)

As you suck on him, try to keep your lips in a slightly fish-face position—pretend you're about to say "purple." The word naturally contorts your lips into the perfect head-giving pout: They're slightly curled and pillowy, which makes them feel wetter and creates ideal suction.

You're welcome. 

6. Attempt the deep throat—if you like it.

Deep throating—where you take his member so far into your mouth, it's in your throat—is definitely an advanced skill. For two words: gag reflex.

Some women's gag reflex is more easily activated than others, but if you're able to train it—I did by practicing on, no joke, frozen ice pops—you can surprise (and by that, I mean SHOCK) your partner with moments of deep throating.

Not only does deep throating feel amazing to them (your throat is obviously tighter than their mouth), but guys also love seeing their entire length somehow fit inside your mouth. (Back to that visual thing that Marin talked about.)

A word of caution: Ease into this, and only when you can breathe well through your nose. No penis is worth choking over.

7. Ask him about butt play.

Not all guys like to have their backside touched at all. But some all-caps love it.

If you're into the idea, Marin suggests asking your partner if he likes having a finger in or around his butt, or if he's ever had anyone try. You'll be able to gauge if he's down to experiment, really wants it, or is hands-down against it. (No judgment either way.)

If you're both game, move a finger or two toward his perineum (or "taint")—the area between his scrotum and anus—and go from there. The prostate lies right under the perineum and is known to be the "male G-spot."

"The holy trifecta of oral sex is mouth on head, hand on shaft, hand on balls," says Marin. "The holy quad would bring the butt into it."

So there you have it—all the tips you need to give a really, REALLY good blow job. Go try them on your partner and wear your invisible crown with pride. You earned it.

6 Ways To Make Camping Sex Infinitely Hotter

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There’s something about sex in the great outdoors that feels taboo and totally natural at the same time, which might be why camping sex is a such a big turn-on for so many nature lovers.

“Camping sex can be fun for couples because it’s a change of scenery and takes you out of your comfort zone," says Jennifer Berman, MD, author of For Women Only: A Revolutionary Guide To Reclaiming Your Sex Life. "The fresh air, flowers, and sounds of the trees and wildlife can enhance the experience and add to the excitement, since it’s not the normal bedroom or shower sex.”

"The fresh air, flowers, and sounds of the trees and wildlife can enhance the experience."

That sounds lovely, but let's be real: There are certainly some pitfalls that come with outdoor sex. )I mean, bugs and rocks do not add to the ambiance.) 

Luckily, with a little preparation and a few pro tips, camping sex can be comfortable and fun. Here’s how to set up your next outdoor adventure for some of the best sex of your life.

1. Choose your tent location wisely.

When it comes to tent sex, not all campsites are created equal.

Scout out the campground online before you arrive, and if you can, reserve a spot that seems secluded, such as on an edge or corner of the grounds. You want to be far away from any playgrounds or common areas, where families with children are more likely to pitch their tents.

When you arrive at your site, look for a flat, grassy area that’s free of roots and rocks—feel around with your hands before you set up your tent, since they can be hidden in brush. Comfort is key here, notes Dr. Berman, more so than when you’re just looking for a place to crash.

2. Pack gear for max comfort and cushion.

Speaking of comfort, when sex is on the menu, you’ll want to pack more gear than you normally do.

At the bare minimum, bring pads or yoga mats to put under your sleeping bags, and consider sheets or liners for inside or on top of your sleeping bags. The materials used to make sleeping bags usually don’t breathe (they’re meant to hold in heat), and you don’t want to have to fall asleep inside a super-sweaty sleeping bag post-romp.

If you really want to ball out, pack an air mattress, along with extra pillows, a soft blanket to cuddle in after, and splurge on a two-person sleeping bag so you never have to stop spooning.

3. Don't forget condoms.

This should go without saying, but just because you’re getting wild in the woods doesn’t mean you should go free—as in, skip protection, says Dr. Berman.

Pack condoms (even in your hiking backpack, in case you decide to pull off the trail for a little spontaneous quickie), single-use lube packets, and post-sex baby wipes so you can clean up wherever you are.

Keeping a plastic bag in your tent as a trash bag is always a good move, too—no one wants to walk a used condom to the camp trash can (cringe). Just be careful that any products you’re using aren’t scented—they can attract unwanted animal visitors.

Oh, and one more thing? Opt for natural bug spray so your bodies don’t taste like poison.

4. Set the mood.

Getting cozy in a tent together is already romantic, but being outside allows for tons of ways to turn each other on.

“Since it’s hot during the summer, skinny dipping beforehand can definitely make the buildup better," says Dr. Berman. "You and your partner can jump into a lake or body of water together when it’s dark, which can act as foreplay."

Snuggling up around a crackling fire in a two-person loveseat chair, making each other s'mores, sharing a bottle of wine, and playing music on a Bluetooth speaker can also spark the seductive vibes (and drown out any noise you might be making).

Twinkly lights or little lanterns inside the tent can also take the ambiance up a notch. Just make sure to turn them off before you really get going—otherwise your neighbors might be able to see your silhouettes in the tent. (I'm serious.) Checking your partner out by moonlight is pretty amazing, anyway. 

5. Unzip your tent *just* slightly.

Camping sex can get hot—in an icky way—fast, especially in summer.

Most tents have a dual-zip ventilation panel that allows air to come in without being straight-up open to everyone. Consider unzipping the panel a bit before you get going, even if it’s a little chilly.

Not only will you avoid an overly sweaty sack, "sex under the stars instantly adds novelty and enhances intimacy,” says Dr. Berman.

6. Opt for specific sex positions.

Okay, real talk: Unless you have a large, tall tent (if so, let's hang?), cowgirl and doggy might be out of the question.

Luckily, there are plenty of other fun positions that work really well in a tent, no matter how tiny. Spooning and missionary are obvious choices, but lay-down doggy, face-to-face, and 69 are also great ways to stay low.

Regardless of what position you choose, closeness is the name of the game when it comes to camping sex. That’s the benefit of being stuck in a tent—almost every position is instantly more intimate.

By the end of your getaway, you’ll feel even more connected to your partner—even if they really, REALLY need a shower.